Oschlo

The end.

In two days I leave for the canary-islands. To spend two months, it's hot down there -off the coast of Africa. Oslo is same old -same old. My friends are moving internally(many of them) these days, I say -let's go to the country-side and get a big house. But nah. Not gonna happen here, you gotta do everything yourselves. And I'm off. Hate this city, not spending a second more than I need in it. So anyway, I'll stay in paradise till 23. august; then I'm clueless again. Suppose I'll go to Italy. My only real plan is getting an advance for a script, I ain't gonna have a career in music. Don't know why, I guess my music is to conventional to carry any interest -my producers ear certainly tells me that I don't have a hit on my hands. Although I might try to push that song I made in NJ with with B and J, it's kinda hitish.

I'm writing my third big movie since I lost my writers block, it's my fifth in all and including the shorts it should be more than fifty. I don't even have them all.

I'm planning to have them cleaned up and printed real neatly(the long ones), and then send them to Canal+. I met someone in Italy who knew somebody etc. who can give my script to someone in the industry -a longshot but not a bad one, problem is I must have the script translated to italian and I might not be able to afford that. We'll see. I would have liked to send them to Hollywood as well but I don't think they'll like the message of the movies and nor do I have an address for anyone.
We'll see.

I must act quickly nevertheless, money is running out and no new ones are in sight, I feel lost. Lost in the forest of dreams.

Reality is gonna come bite me in the ass real soon; I can feel it. It keeps trying to break through. I feel sad, inexplicably. What is it that I lost but my spirit?

'mountain moving faster, receding by'

And what is it worth?

I've been ad-libbing my life way too long, I've achieved nothing yet created a vast portfolio of work. Intellectual unsellable work.

The movies I'm writing are pop. P-O-P. Not art. Want pop.

BTW: I have reconsidered my opinions on new american singer/song-writers, listened alot to it in mr. Js car as we were driving around the city, it fits the cityscape perfectly. I still think it's pretentious to record in lofi. But I mellowed to the music, it was so deeply unexpected.

''cause we're justified -and we're ancient...'

b